Paradigm, Pageantry, and 30 Seconds in Dayton

"It is obvious that we can no more explain a passion to a person who has never experienced it that we can explain light to the blind." T.S. Eliot 

In life, if we are one of the lucky few, we have the ability to experience a moment while we are in it and be able to say, "This is it. This is my moment and I'm living it fully and mindfully. I know what is happening and I'm going to allow every emotion to roll over me. I see every person and hear every sound. This is it. This is the moment that will change me forever."

In 2005, the Paradigm Performance Ensemble set out to do something no one to date had never done. We wanted to create a moment that took the world of pageantry to a level that not yet been explored. Before I go forward with this post, I must state that this will not be about a flag feature. I'm going to attempt to define an activity to those who don't understand it and for those who have spent a lifetime trying to.

In the simplest terms and the only way I can explain it...The Pageantry Arts is a lifestyle choice that encompasses every emotion that can be felt through the human soul and is felt within seconds of each other, day in and day out and season by season. The pageantry activity encompasses a range of the arts from dance to marching band, to drum corps, to winterguard. This however, is the two dimensional definition. The three dimensional definition in winterguard is where my love lies, and it is winterguard that has brought me a life of joy, a life of tears, a life of elation, and a life of sorrow....sometimes all in the same weekend or even in the same five minute moment in front of 10,000 people. It is winterguard that has brought me to my knees and it is winterguard that has been the one that has helped me explore the depths of friendship and spirituality. It is winterguard that brought me to one 30 second moment where I could answer "YES!" In bold letters with an exclamation mark to the questions Pink asked.  "Have you ever wished for an endless night? Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight? Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself will it ever get better than tonight?" This to me is pageantry. It is Paradigm. It is art and it is passion. It is me and it is a part of my soul that is here to stay.

When Paradigm set out to spin with our feet, a flag feature that I'm not afraid to say is still one of the best ever written, we didn't decide it flippantly and in isolation. It was a decision that was worked on and discussed for over a year. It was a decision that was decided on by a group of people in many different ways and in many different places. The original idea was born in a gay bar (surprise, surprise) over a conversation that started with, "What has never been done before?" Every idea crazy and insane was thrown out on the table. Someone asked the question, "Has anyone ever done a show where the entire book was written in the horizontal plane?" With that question, a group of friends decided to spend a year exploring an idea. A year later, after many bruises, after many discussions (and even a few fights) we found ourselves at an audition teaching a bunch of 20 somethings to use their feet for more than just to look cute in shoes.

Over the course of time, the idea of spinning with our feet took on a life of its own. Discussions out of practice involved the "what if." We realized the importance of a team. We realized that creativity doesn't exist in a bubble and if it does, then it doesn't exist in its purest form. Spinning with our feet consumed our thoughts. What more can we do? If we can do this then what else? Conversations entered into the bizarre. Does spinning a flag only have to happen with the body? Wouldn't it be cool if? What would happen if we tried...?" "I want to do a show about anti-gravity."

We asked these questions of each other not because we thought we would find an answer or that they were even realistic, but because the conversations were so incredibly rich in dialog and because we hungered for each other's ideas, time and friendship  We were adults who went  to work in the day, in the average American workforce, devoid of passion and inspiration, but came home on the weekends to a world of creativity that exists only for the lucky few. When we realized that we could spin with our feet, we realized that the possibilities were endless and I'm not just talking about colorguard. I'm talking about life.

It seems absurd. How can a flag feature garner such emotion? It's just flags in a gym. Pageantry is about passion. I can't find anything out there like it. When a person thinks of passion they think of it in a two dimensional form that the media says we are supposed to believe it is. When I think of passion I think of a life filled with all the emotions the universe gave us and not suppressing them because of what it will look like or because we fear the idea of living fully in the moment. There is nothing like it on earth when you find yourself on a gym floor late at night with just you and your friends dancing to a piece of music just out of the blue and just because someone said, "What do you think about this?"

The people in this activity have gravitated to it because when we were born the universe said to us, "Now this is your time to feel life in its purest form. Don't hold back." It's not about flags in a gym. It's not about the staff or the performers. It's not about the judges or the scores. It's not about the audience or the applause. It's about the synergy of it all when it all comes together in one moment and in one gym. I've tried to explain it to others and get a lot of support from the people in the "real world," but as hard as I try, the only people who truly understand it are the people who have experienced it.

In 2005, when Paradigm spun with their feet we knew that we wanted one thing. We wanted to stand together at the top of an arena and watch a group of young people bring our creativity to life. Our creativity speaks for itself in the form of friendship and those friendships I have no doubt are the friendships that soul mates are made of.

In the song, "Glitter In the Air," Pink asks a series of questions. I would like to answer these questions by using a 30 second moment that took over a year and a half to create. In that 30 seconds I knew anything was possible and I knew my life had changed forever, because once you are open up to the possibilities, then all fear becomes nothing but white noise.

Question:  Have you ever closed your eyes and trusted, just trusted?

Answer: Yes I have. In the 16 counts before they spun with their feet I closed my eyes and trusted that everything was right.

Question: Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?

Answer: Yes I have. During the flag feature Mikey was standing behind me and put his arms around me. I knew at that moment that I was with a group of friends that were with me for life. I cried.

Question: Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

Answer: Yes I have. I have invited over 10,000 people into my soul to judge me, to love me, to hate me, but mostly to share in my moment of joy.

Question: Have you ever wished for an endless night? Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight?

Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself will it ever get better than tonight?

Answer: Yes I have wished for an endless night, knowing full well that night could not last. I lived fully in the moment letting all the emotion consume me. Yes I have held my breath and wondered if life could get any better than the perfection of friends who have the ability to accomplish a goal with passionate  abandonment. That Saturday night in Dayton I walked down the stands as Ron Comfort said in my ear, "This is a moment we will remember for the rest of our lives."

Later that night when we talked to the performers, with tears streaming down their faces and ours, Joe Flynn said something I'll never forget. He said, "Don't you wish the rest of the world could experience life like this?"

So for anyone who ever questions why you do colorguard or drum corps or marching band you tell them it is because you want to live life fully and you want to explore every level of passion the universe will allow you to have.

This post is dedicated to my wonderful Paradigm family both past and present, but mostly to anyone who ever had the guts to create something with their own passion and invited others in to explore it with you. This is dedicated to the thousands of kids who have stepped on a gym floor with a flag in their hands wondering what in the hell they signed themselves up for. This is dedicated to every person that ever stood in front of a group of kids with the hopes of a great 30 second moment. It's dedicated to the judges, to the contest staff and all volunteers who work for a flawless show day. Mostly, it is dedicated to the people who watched as we as instructors and performers succeeded and failed. You were there to share our passion. You were there to share our pain and our joy. You were there. You helped create the synergy and for that I thank you.