To Josh: Welcome To Your First Day Of School

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”--Nelson Mandela

Dear Josh,

Welcome to First Grade! This is the start of a long journey of education and discovery. My hope is that you have a blast and discover that learning is a fun and adventurous life long experience. You will find that school is what YOU make of it. In fact, life is what you make of it. You should know that there are some expectations that have already been pre-determined that are non-negotiable, no matter how the next 12 years play out. I have laid them out quite simply here, so if there is ever a debate, I can easily turn to this and ask you to read it.  I want you to know that this is a contract from me to you. I have responsibilities as well and will do my best to live up to all of them. You have a lot of family members that love you very much, some are biological and some are not. They all will take a role in your education at some point and most of them already have, except you just don't realize it yet. Those family members have my express permission to do what they have to do to make sure you stay in school and stay safe. They also have my permission to help you become a man who values diversity and the quest for knowledge. In this family we value education and diversity and we expect you to do the same. So here are the rules of the road and this non-negotiable and binding contract that if followed, will allow you to make memories that last a lifetime.

• You will graduate high school. Dropping out will not be an option. Right now in this country 90% of all jobs require a high school diploma and that number will be close to 100% by the time you graduate in 2025.       
• You will graduate from college. This too is non-negotiable. Your family has a long history of  college graduates and I don't want you to get caught up in the rhetoric that college isn't needed. College gives you experiences that are unmatched in any other part of life. I agree that many college courses are unnecessary, but the experience is something you will never forget. My part of this contract is to make sure we are saving for college. This might mean that we don't get a vacation every summer or your Christmas isn't as big as your friends, but I guarantee you that you will not be paying for college on your own. I will also let you go to any college you can get into (unless you want to be a Gator, then we might have to talk). I also promise you that you can major in anything your heart wants to follow, but you must finish. More and more jobs require degrees and it is my full belief that by that time you enter college, this world will look a  lot different than it does today and even more jobs will require advanced education, with a  strong global understanding. 

The best course in college I ever took was a one year course in Constitutional Law. The final project was that we were given a case where the defendant was someone that countered our very core of ethics. My client was a sexual predator and I had to use the Constitution as a way of showing that it was unconstitutional to put them on a registry that marked them for life. It was hard, but what I learned is that there are two sides to every argument no matter how much you want to believe you are right. I also loved philosophy and the debates that occurred during those classes. It might seem irrelevant, but it is important to ask the big questions of "why" and "why not?"

• While in school you will find that there will be some teachers you love and some you don't. Some will be great and some should have never been in a classroom to begin with. Welcome to the real world kid. The expectation however, is that you will show them all respect whether you like them or not. My promise to you as part of this contract is that I will make sure they treat you with respect. If they don't, you can count on me to be the first person to call foul.  

Now, I realize that you were born to a rather "Out Spoken" mother. I also realize that I am "somewhat stubborn." I encourage you however, to do as I say, not as I do...unless you see injustice and in this world you will find that it could be at every turn. 

• While in school I encourage and expect that you participate in activities. I don't care what they are. You can play sports, be in the band or be the newspaper editor for all I care. It doesn't matter. It is expected that whatever you choose, that you will do it full out and to the best of your ability. Quitting is only an option after the commitment to your team has been completed. This is important as participating on teams will teach you how to ultimately succeed in the work force. One thing you will find out about me is that I deplore apathy and half-ass attempts. Commitment to activities will teach you to finish what you started, work with others in high intensity environments, work with others you may not like, and to fail and succeed with grace. Participating in activities will give you a strong work ethic and something that is desperately needed right now in this world.
• While in school, I expect you to challenge ideas. Challenging ideas is the cornerstone to learning. When you do it however, make sure you do your research and can form a well thought out and intelligent argument. Challenging ideas based on arrogance and sound bites will just make you look ignorant and make sure to pick the battles worth picking.

Remember what Mark Twain once said, "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."

• Over the next 12 years you will most likely make many mistakes. I understand that. You will want to challenge authority. I get that, trust me. Remember though, you will be expected to own your mistakes and make amends for them. If you get in trouble at school I will most likely take the side of the teacher. This is part of learning to be human. Stand up when you screw up. If your mistakes look like they could endanger your life or your future however, you can expect me to employ every resource I have to protect you from yourself. (Remember, Aunt Jen, Aunt Carali, and Uncle John are therapists. You are already doomed).

 Now, I ask that you really pay attention to these last two rules, because out of all of the "non-negotiables" these two are most important.

The first is that you must understand that both your dad and me have spent our lives working for others. This is why we aren't rich or have as much as many of your friends might have. Unfortunately, the world has their priorities backwards and in this world, money is king. What you have in this world seems to be perceived and interpreted as who you are. Well I'm here to tell you that the mentality of materialism is what got this country into the mess we are currently in. You were born into a recession for a reason and that reason is because too many people got too greedy and that greed brought us all down. I say this because as you go through school you are going to want more than you can have. You will see people with more than you. They will flaunt it and might even bully others because of it. What you need to understand is that it doesn't matter. Stuff does not make a man. Integrity does. What you give back to others does and who you stand up for does. I hope to teach you that in this world there will always be people who have more and people who have less...a lot less. There are people who you will need to reach out to for an offering of compassion and comfort. There might be someone with whom you have to fight for. I will always support you if you fight for a cause or for the humanity and dignity of another.  I expect you to treat everyone as you would want to be treated. Don't bully. Let me say that again. DON'T YOU DARE BULLY ANOTHER CHILD! This nation was formed so everyone could be who they want to be. In this family we respect all people. Anyone is welcome to be your friend and the only requirement is that they hold these values as well. Your friends can be gay,straight, black, white, Muslim, Jewish, immigrant,rich or poor. They are all welcome in our house. We do not generalize and we do not discriminate. I hope you will learn that everyone is an individual and not a "group" to be classified into political rhetoric.

The last and most important rule I want to pass on to you is that out of all the classes you need to pay attention in is history.Learn your history. Our country wouldn't be in the mess it is in if people knew their history. Pay special attention when your teachers start talking about the hatred that has lead us down so many unfortunate paths. Learn about why we have fought the wars we have fought and what we should have learned from them. Learn what we did to the Indians. Learn what we did to the black community. Learn how religion has been a driving force behind so much anger. Learn how women were and still are treated. Learn about how our government works, because so many don't. They will say they do, but I'm here to tell you that they don't. When you learn your history, you will be more apt to challenge the present for the hope of the future. Don't take what is told to you about history at face value either. There are many people who try to change it to fit their agenda. Many people come across as experts on history, politics, and the Constitution. Do your own research and ask your own questions.Do not buy into sound bites!

My favorite history class was in college when our professor had us read a particular section of 20th Century political history and then he would come into class dressed as one of the figures from the chapter. Our test for that week was that we each had to pretend to be a reporter and ask a question as if the situation was currently happening and then write a paper and analyze the answer. It was fascinating.

"The only thing new in this world is the history that you do not know."--Harry S. Truman

This might seem overwhelming right now, but when you are my age I hope it will make sense to you. There are many people in your corner. A lot of people have your back.  Please know that having your back might mean that we aren't your friend, but your teachers of life. 

Please enjoy childhood and school. Learn, laugh, play, compete, make friends, and explore. Most importantly though, learn to think for yourself with an open mind and an open heart. Be a critical thinker and you will always stay ahead of the game. 

I'm a firm believer that your generation could be the finest in history. Don't listen when people start referring to your generation as lazy and entitled. Your generation didn't get us into this mess of greed, selfishness, and polarization this country now faces, but maybe...just maybe your generation can get us out.

Love,

Mom

P.S. If you actually learn what the purpose of Algebra is could you pass it on to me? I'm still trying to figure that one out and don't forget...Go Vols!